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Guest Post by Mental Coach Wade Pearse
While there might be many “causes” of playing poorly,there aren’t many things that derail a game as much as anger does. And not only your game but the games of your playing partners as well. After all, who likes to listen to a whiner? You could be playing quite well and then a playing partner continues to berate each shot he/she hits and cusses all day long.
This is a serious distraction and a completely selfish act on the part of the anger filled player. Does this make sense? Too many players obsess over their inability to perform to their own lofty standards. They get angry and let the world know it. Ok, we all want to play well and the odd outburst, within reason, is acceptable. Yet not at the expense of sanity and the rest of your group!
Anger is insideous. Like a sticky residue it lingers within and infects your entire game and the enjoyment of those around you. Mostly it completely removes joy from your game,that’s for certain. Keep this in mind: it is not the poor shots that ruin your game it’s your “mood” that does!
Follow me here…I can hit a shot 30 yards offline and end up in the pond by the green. This does not at all mean I am going to get angry. I could laugh. I could cry! I could pause and say to myself, “That was interesting.” There is no absolute causal relationship between the quality of my shots and my mood. I have to wire that in. Just as anger has been hardwired over time and became a habit.
Break the Chain Reaction
We want to install a new automated behavior in place of anger. We can choose and design the state we want to experience in place of anger and make this the habitual response. Now we are free to really make the changes we need in order to play better! I don’t know anyone who plays their best golf when angry.
Getting upset and giving yourself a stern talking to occasionaslly is alright, yet constantly fuming shot after shot serves absolutley no valuable purpose. It ruins your game and is likely to affect your playing partners as well.
I had a friend tell me this story: He was on the 17th hole, a shortish par 3. Playing with a fellow that I know personally and is cronically angry. The type of player that will pick up his ball on a hole that isn’t going well and race to the next tee box while you finish playing the hole.
Well on this hole my buddy holes his tee shot for an ace! Needless to say he was extatic and showing his pleasure. Why shouldn’t he? How many aces do you get in life?! Well this other guy is already on the 18th tee, barely pausing to share this amazing moment and saying “Do you mind keeping it down, I’m trying to play my game.” Can you believe that? Here’s a guy who had picked up his ball 3 times during the round not finishing holes, whining about the greens, the bad breaks, etc.. I don’t know what game he was playing but it sure wasn’t golf.
Anger turns one’s attention inward and becomes self centered. It says “No one matters but me and my shots.” Meanwhile the friend with the hole in one who was filled with joy now has a memory that has this guy linked to it. So each time he recalls this joyous moment he will remember this guy telling him to keep quiet. Sad isn’t it…
Monitoring your emotions is fundamental to enjoying the game and getting the best out of yourself and your playing partners. Hey, we all have off days. Let it go. Yet if you’re fastened to anger as a way to play the game, doing some specific exercises will do wonders for your state of mind and your game. I have several to help.
If you’re looking for a resource to improve the mental part of your game, I encourage you to take a look at Wade Pearse’s Mental Golf Program today!
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What do you think?
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:47 am
My brother is one person that starts to fume when things go bad on the golf course. He doesn’t throw clubs or anything, but you can just see the cloud come over him. On one hand, I feel for him because I want him to play well and understand that anger is not going to help. On the other hand, if we’re playing a match, then I’m smiling on the inside because I know that once he gets into that state, there’s almost nothing that he can do to beat me.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Mike…I use to have a temper on the course
, and when I look back now, I feel pretty stupid. Boy…Tiger can let his mouth go right on TV can’t he 
?
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:47 pm
[...] sourced here [...]
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:06 pm
[...] Mike added an interesting post on Anger â
October 24th, 2007 at 7:25 am
Filtering and controlling anger on the course is beneficial to being able to assess what happened during the previous shot. Quelling anger is a good golfing attribute. — Assess your previous shot, then put it out of your mind, so you can focus on the business at hand for the next shot.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Well said Tony. When you use what I call a “Post shot Routine” (as you say Tony, assess your shot) you actually gain from whatever happens. Regardless of the outcome of the shot.
I smiled at the comment above by “double eagle”. You watch someone constantly get angry and you feel for them and hope they learn. Yet when you’re playing against them you can start counting your winnings by the 14th hole…
Seriously though, there are specific things that can be done to eliminate anger forever from ones game. A technique called collapsing anchors can dissolve this tendency. Then we want to install a new behavior in its place. I have exercises which target altering states at will. I know that might have sounded kind of twilight zonish…not so. Very real world approaches that are very effective.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Wade,
Excellent points. Uncontrolled anger or any display of unpleasantness will kill a round of Business Golf. Generally, if anger is demonstrated during a round of golf it will also show up in the way that person does business.
Generally, the root cause of anger or rage on the golf course can be tracked back to the golfer growing up playing in team sports that were coached to extremes. That same behavior also ends up in the boardroom which usually creats morale problems that ultimately costs the business in the long run.
Anger also can develop in those golfers who think they are going to be perfect in every golf shot and business deal they make. It is good to strive for protection but perfection in golf and business is not a realistic goal. Expecting perfection in golf will only lead to frustration. Expecting perfection in business will lead to failure.
Golf should be played for fun and doing business should be fun. Becoming angry over an unrealistic aspiration does not reflect well of a person and defiantly does not lead to having fun…in golf or business.
Let me know how I can help.
October 25th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
You know I used to get angry a lot when i was younger when playing golf. I have learned to control that a lot now a days though. It really helps to keep a clear head when playing golf.
November 6th, 2007 at 9:24 am
[...] a golf book that is sure to ruffle some feathers in the golf world…maybe even create some anger. The author was a top 100 PGA instructor and taught alongside the likes of Claude Harmon (the [...]
November 11th, 2007 at 8:10 am
[...] You can read the rest of this blog post by going to the original source, here [...]